Salvaje

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Salvaje – J-La. 

 You call me kind and spiritual. 

 You speak of my intellect while I have all these primitive thoughts roaring in my head. 

 Like taking you without question, looking into your eyes without shame. 

 Tearing your clothes off with no regard to their brand. Hand clasped around your neck. 

As if you need breath! At this very moment I am the air that gives you breath the oxygen that fills your lungs. 

 Doesn’t your soul cum when I call. 

 I may as well have hit you with my club and dragged you away leaking. Mine now!

 I intelligent.

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Cover Image Credit: Women of Color Foundation

Fortuitously created, imperfectly beautiful.

No! How could I believe that it was by chance.

The essence of I Am, more spiritual than physical.

Love. Strength. Virtue. Molded by the Potters hand.

No not by chance, the personification of grace.

Beautiful circumvoluted shell, melanin infused passion fruit.

How you walk, how you talk, how you sway the wind.

No. I’m not misinformed, the winds may at its slightest bend branches,

at its mightiest toss seas, but just as I am wooed so the winds are moved

by the switch of your hips, gazelle like stride, as you say; slay. Me. Huntress.

You inherited the entire color spectrum.

From bold dark hues to modest fair tones.

Assorted, delectable creations. carmel covered, butter pecan

Dark and milk chocolate, lightly toasted marshmallow cream filled.

Umm! What would a King be without his Queen

The way I rule over my castle the way you rule over me.

Strong on your own, have raised boys into men

Has turned men into babies, sinners to repent

Your ways are similar to the days, ever-changing yet consistent

I’m proud to call you mother, sister, daughter, friend, lover, wife.

From the plains of Ethiopia, to the Compton hoods

No matter if Mexico, yes even China, Brazil, India or France

All of the Americas and back to Afrika again.

You have been mother to the earth, but somehow cast aside.

Cast all over the earth yet somehow you survived.

Your warmth embrace, your forgiving love.

Your continuous endurance, just the smile on your face.

Though you deserve the world in many ways.

I’d simply like to say.

Thank You.

Why Aren’t You In Love Anymore? Romance Resurrected

You don’t have to be around me long to understand my passion for music. You won’t have to dig deep to find out I am a passionate person in general, whether it be God, family, music, film, fashion, etc;.. I am always willing to go into deep conversation about the things I care about and even more ready to listen to what you care about most.

I don’t know if it’s my personality or my star sign but what I do know is that I am a romantic through and through, and not hopeless in the lightest I might add. I can’t wrap my mind around why the worlds term for those who are in love with love hopeless, when did we lose our way? To quote Kendrick Lamar, “We are put on this earth to love”, but where has the love gone?

Relationships suffer for many different reasons but the way I see it, a lot of the suffering is because romance has died. We live is a sex first ask questions later society. I’m not here to judge at all but I would like to know what’s the rush? What is the stigma that comes with the word love? Why is love corny now? Why is taking it slow so hard to do? Do people still look into each others eyes or melt away at the slightest touch. Where is the romance when it comes to love. I only ask these questions but I can’t tell you where to find it. What I can do is give you some music for the journey. Sit, dance, talk, build. Enjoy.

 

34 AND COUNTING…

I’m just off my weekend and I have this feel that is really hard to explain or more so hard to express. My birthday was this past Friday, September 29th. I had the entire weekend and some off, bought new clothes, I spent time with family, I hung out with friends, I had a few drinks, ate good food, listen to a live band and even got some much-needed sleep. I’d like to call that perfect, it’s the way I would want every day of my life to be, I don’t remember having any worries for at least three of the four days, and that dear friends is a dream.

I’m such a simple guy yet very complicated, not that I desire to be more deep than necessary, but my thought process has this way of carrying on multiple thoughts at once as if I was thinking for more than one person and some times it shows in my actions or an occasional moment when I space out in the middle of a good conversation due to some light being lit up unexpectedly.  Today was no exception, I’m in a sort of nostalgic mood. I can’t quite put my finger on it but from time to time I have this moment where my head, heart, and body feel clear, refreshed in a way. Then my complicated mind always finds a way to add some muck to the clear waters.

Maybe it’s self-sabotage or just a case of the worries, never the less I have this small trace of fear in the pit of my stomach that I haven’t been able to shake today. I decided to read a Book that I read earlier this year; You Are A Bad Ass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life, by Jen Sincero.  Yes I read a self-help book and yes its a great book but remember how I said my mind kind of goes off on its own, well not even a chapter into the book and I see a quote listed in the book by Anais Nin, ” And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” I was so caught up by that quote that I went to look up more information about Anais Nin which in turn inspired me to write this.

I’m not really sure what I am doing right now, but I needed to just get things off my chest. I just started my business, secured the production company name and my artist name, got my social media up and running and I’ve been creating music. I’m at the what now phase, where the only thing holding me back is my grind. Holding down a 9 to 5 or in my case 5 to 9 and putting so much energy into a start-up is down right draining though, add in the fact that I lost my mom a few months ago and here I am.

I shed a few tears on the ride home that morning after work, my mom would always call me to be the first one to tell me happy birthday. She wasn’t here to celebrate my day or any of my other recent successes, to be that encouragement when fear makes me feel like maybe I don’t want it anymore. Those moments when I want to just hide away in a dark corner with a pillow over my face away from the world she would be there to pull me back into the light and no one can take that place. But God!

My mother gave me a place to start when it comes to faith and from that place I’ve created a relationship with God, me in my imperfect self would call it a love hate relationship but I know better and with God there’s nothing but love.  Love that I’ve felt many times over in good and bad times. I need to strengthen that relationship that has been lacking since my mother passed, I’ve prayed, I’ve talked to God but it hasn’t felt the same and since God is never-changing then it must be me. I believe that feeling that I have in the bottom of my stomach is the absence of joy, of real joy. Yes I’ve smiled and laughed and joked and encouraged but there’s a void that needs to be filled.

Today I will start to find Joy again, Gods perfect joy to be exact and I’m sure I’ll find love and peace along the way. I don’t know in what form it will come but I can say I have an expectation and that’s a start. I hope and pray today that if you have a void that needs to be filled give God a try. He is able.

“You make known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”

10/02/2017

To The Readers

Hiaku!, bless you that term means nothing to me

Even if i spoke Chinese i wouldnt understand Jintishi

By no way, shape, or form do i mean disrespect

But Im not a scholar of poetic terms i deeply regret

Dont delete me if you read me and its not at all iambic

I just write what i feel inside if you can understand it

At this point i would pay the cost to be labeled Cavalier

So i could woo you in closer as i whisper to your inner ear

I am ready to go to war

Faithful pen in hand

I only wish to to make my heart

Bleed onto this pad

To Athena, i mean to the reader from my chair

I feel im getting better so dont dispair

Now if i keep in check the way i spel there could be hope

But don’t hold your breath just yet its underlined not a quote

Disgusted 


Do I disgust you.

How I vociferate of kisses on black rose petals.

Painted pictures of star drizzled universes.

Does my song bring harmonious regret.

No longer able to look into my eye.

Had you but glanced down and witnessed my trance.

Unable to testify of my generosity.

My wayward tongue.

Oh how I speak.

Strengthened by your unbidden reply.

Am I no longer recognizable.

Did you not cross lava filled puddles in my arms.

Oh what a song you sing.

Have I not written my name along those halls.

How am I not the same.

From earth, to moon, and back.

Multiple trips of suffocating bliss.

Passionately held by your pulsating grip.

Collapsed you trace sea soaked veins with your finger tip.

Reluctant to leave a trace of evidence.

Oh how I disgust you.
*I do not own rights to artwork, artist is unknown.